Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Remain Seated While the "Don't Be Stupid" Sign is Illuminated

It's clear that I'm an airplane geek. Though I will admit that I don't often blog about aviation-related issues because I generally write about whatever strikes my fancy. This is my little corner of the wired world and I'm not going to restrict myself to limited topics (at least not until someone offers me large sums of money to do so).

Today however, my silence will be broken. My brother Ross forwarded me this from USA Today yesterday (I don't know why he was reading USA Today, maybe he's suffering from dementia). It's an article about a number of injuries aboard a Continental airlines flight that encountered heavy turbulence en route from Brazil to Texas. From the updates, it's relatively clear that a considerable portion of the passengers were not wearing their seatbelts at the time.

This seemed to me to be a good opportunity to discuss the "Fasten Seatbelt" sign, which I think about often. I would assume most people could easily tell you what it means, but I think it is vitally important for a brief reminder of a few things it doesn't mean.

The Fasten Seatbelt sign means none of the following things:

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you really have to go to the bathroom.

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you just remembered that you're most recent Luanne Rice book is in the overhead bin.

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you just realized that trying to wear your coat through the flight was a bad idea.

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you and your freind need to trade seats because they're not going to be able to sleep without putting their head on the bulkhead.

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you dropped your pen and it's really important that you finish your Sudoku game before the plane clears 10,000 feet or you'll lose a bet.

Please fasten your seatbelt...unless you know that you're smarter that every pilot, flight attendant, weather forecaster, ATC operator and Airline mission controller AND you've been relentlessly studying the weather charts, forecasts, maps and PIREPS (pilot reports) regarding the air between your exact location (which of course you can't be sure of) and your destination.

I know you think that you're smarter than everyone else involved in the decision to illuminate the sign. Maybe you are. However, the fact remains that the seatbelt sign (and that cute little "bing" that accompanies it) represents an instruction from the crew, which to ignore would be a violation of Federal law...along with an increased possibility that you're going to lose a tooth on the ceiling.

When the Fasten Seatbelt sign is illuminated, SIT DOWN AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT. The SkyMall catalog is a great way to pass the time.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know that you're being fair to all passengers... let me relate a story: During my trip to CA, I had to pee REALLY bad, but the fasten seatbelt light was on during the ENTIRE flight (connecting flight). I thought maybe the pilot forgot to turn it off. However, my intense internalization of discipline (thanks Foucault) caused me to wait out the flight... it was nearly fatal, and I only wish I had disobeyed the sign earlier. There was no significant turbulence! A note: I was about to disobey the fasten seatbelt sign when the pilot announced we were preparing to land... thirty minutes later we landed and I jetted to the back of the plane. I was almost one of those people... some day.

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